Ohh nostalgia...

So, a friend of mine from high school posted some redonk pictures of us from high school on her facebook page. I look horrible, obviously, but they are just too funny to ignore. Of course, the people she tagged began a string of comments...and it led to us having so hilarious realizations about some of the dumb shit we used to do back in the day.

What surprises me the most are the things that other people remember about our shared experiences. One of my friends pointed out how she remembered watching movies of our summer reading books on this little white tv I had back then. (Don't tell my 7th graders what a complete hypocrite I am in this regard!) My other friend laughed about how the 1st time she ever watched Conan O'Brian was on that tv, too! The tv wasn't even in the picture!

Meanwhile, I saw the wall paper and all the posters and Absolut vodka ads I had put up on the walls to cover it up and thought, "There's no way my mother didn't know I was smoking weed and drinking all through high school." (Yes, I went to all girls Catholic school.) I also know I forced my friends to watch Conan because I was the only 15 year old who was madly in love with him in 1997 and wrote him a letter propositioning him for a position as either a writer OR his wife.

I wonder why I didn't get a reply?

Sometimes, I like to abuse my power to teach lessons.

For instance, I had a student this morning - let's call him "My sh*t don't stink" - who pulled the classic let-me-use-my-watch-to-reflect-the-sun-in-an-annoying-way routine. I asked him nicely, twice, to stop. Upon the third time of his denial and continued scheming, I said, "Hey YoursStinks, let me see your wrist." he shows me the one without the watch. OK, got me there. "Your other wrist." She slips his hand behind his back, slides off the watch and holds it up. I laugh, and due to sheer determination and creativity, I let it go.

He persists with the watch in his lap. I quietly sneak up behind him with all the other kids laughing, and tap him on the shoulder. Holding out my hand, I smirk and say, "Looks like I have a new watch for the day." I begin to put it on and he replies, "But it's solar powered, I was just trying to charge it!"

"It was kind of you to make sure I would have a charged watch for the day, YourStinks."

"But it's a $100 G-Shock!"

"Even better, then I know I can rely on it telling my the accurate time until 3:00pm. Thanks!"

I wore this thing all day (I hate watches, I wore it on my left hand/writing hand, and it was huge & annoying.) I got compliments from all of the kids. "Dang miss, you got a G-Shock?!"

"Obviously, I'm a G. That's how we do."

At 3pm he came into the office and found me. The school aid I was literally just telling the story to pulled out her sunglasses when he came over to talk to me. I nearly peed myself. I told him if it happens again, I am gonna wear it every day until June 28th. "Are we clear & is that fair, YoursStinks?"

"Yes, miss."

"Good, cuz that thing is big and was annoying my wrist."

"They make them in smaller sizes," YoursStinks says with an eye roll as he walks away.

"Yes, but why would I buy a smaller one when I can have yours for free? Those things cost $100 you know."

Sometimes, you gotta let a kid know his sh*t stinks.

7th Graders in the Spring Time

There are so many days while I am going to work, at work, or home from work that I think, "I hate teaching. FML. My principal is schizo. Why am I doing this to myself?!"

Luckily, I spend my days with 12 year olds. Most people would not consider this lucky, but in the grand scheme of all things annoying and bureaucratic in the NYC school system, they are simultaneously the bane of my existence and my little saving graces.

Spring time in the 7th grade is particularly charming. You see, it is this cosmic time in the universe when they lose complete control of their bodies, minds and inhibitions. As mother Earth is bringing things to life everywhere in nature, so is she bringing alive the hormones in my adolescent students.

Spring Hormones = Daily RIDICULOUSNESS = Gut bursting Laughing = I can tolerate teaching

A few examples from today alone:

• Between the change of 1st and 2nd period, an 8th grader sets off a stink bomb in the boys bathroom. My classroom is across from the principal's office and all 3 of my administrators were in the doorway with that "look" on their faces. I overhear things like, "Damn yo! What's that smell?"  "It's your mom!" "Close your legs bitch!" "Dammmm nigga what'd you eat for breakfast!" Amazing.  My favorite class comes in, and I am in just as giddy a mood as the kids and laughing at all the responses. 
• In the midst of this, I realize the Daily Edit I have up on the SMART board still has the corrections on it from the previous period because I can hear all of the kids being like, "Quick, write em down before she notices!" Of course, then I do, and let out a GASP (think, "Oh!" with a "you little cheating f%uckers" sarcastic undertone) and sprint to the projector from the doorway to cover it and quickly delete. Another student I love is grabbing my arm so I can't delete it, but I win. I turn around to see my principal in my doorway with a look of death on her face. When I explain that the answers were up and I didn't notice (while chuckling), she gives me a good laugh, sigh of relief, and walks away. THANK GOD.
• One of my favorite students (I just adore him - dimples and raspy voice and all :) looks me dead in the face and says, "Miss, I don't wanna go to the bathroom, cuz I'm scared of the smell, but I REALLY gotta go!" with the most pained look on his face doing the pee-pee dance in his chair. Roaring laughter commences,  and he gives it a shot. 
• As this kid is coming back from the bathroom - with his face still tucked in his shirt, we all stop to listen to my principal SCREAMING at the obvious stink bomber. "HOW DARE YOU SET OFF FART BOBMS IN THIS BUILDING!" Again. Roaring laughter. We hear her scream the phrase "FART BOMBS" at least 3 more times, and so far we have lost at least the first 10 minutes of class. 
• Before I can even stop myself, I tell the kid, "Dude, you totally just dragged the smell of nasty egg farts all the way back from the bathroom with you." One of my awkward former ELLs starts laughing harder than I ever even thought was capable from her and she falls out of her chair. Another 5 minutes gone and we're still roaring.  (This was just 20 minutes of the day mind you...)
• 7th period, I have a class come in and one of the girls has 2 helium inflated balloons because it's her birthday. Her friend accidentally pops one of them on the screw from the table leg as I am standing right behind her. At the same time, an announcement comes on over the PA system. About 10 seconds later, this girl leans down over the popped balloon, sucks up some helium, and starts talking like a munchkin  - in the midst of an announcement. I tried to get angry and scold her. I laughed. I begged her to stop. I laughed harder. She just kept going. She finally paused - so we might be able to hear the rest of the announcement, but no luck. There was a little left, so my advice: "You might as well finish it off and entertain us since we're already way off task." And she did. About a minute later, she asked if she could get a drink of water. "Why, because your mouth is dry from all the helium you were huffing? You can go, but please don't tell your mother I let you huff helium in my classroom." She was like, "Obvi," and smiled at me.

Man I love some of my students.

Sometimes I wonder who the source of some of the issues are in my classroom. I just can't help myself. There's no sense in getting angry when all you really want to do is laugh. Sometimes, 12 year olds annoy the crap out of me, but it's usually because they're being funny at an inopportune time. In the spring, however, I have learned you just have to laugh it out and move on. Otherwise, I would be screaming angrily about FART BOMBS at the top of my lungs, and who the hell would take me seriously after that?

I am FREAKING over LOST (in a good way :)

I think that Jack for sure is the NEW Jacob, but I think Hurley is the new Richard and someone is going to kill Richard so he can finally be at peace. There just hasn't been enough development with Frank to make him that important...I think. You never know. Though, they did make it clear he was supposed to be on the island - Ben even said it.

I am also with the, "I don't give 2 craps about Ilana," school of thought. She is a gun toting know it all right now and I want her to spill it!

Someone mentioned that the choices being made off-island seem to shape the on island choices. Can we assume that because the scene with Ben helping Alex in LAX world occurred BEFORE the Ben making the right choice with Ilana scene, that - time wise- it happened first? I am not so sure that we can.

I think that the H-bomb created this simultaneous parallel universe and the characters are making the same right or wrong choices in both worlds at the same time. Juliette said, "It worked," before she died. I think she was right, only not in the way we had hoped or thought possible.

The only issue with this is, what happens if they get off the island now? They can't go back to LAX - there would be 2 of each of them there at once - WOAH - no.

This makes me wonder if everyone left is either going to die on the island, or stay there making good or bad choices while their bizzarro world selves in LAX go on as well. But, I might be really going out on a limb here.

I just want there to be a rational explanation for all the weird stuff. Like, how the hell are they gonna explain the smoke-monster? I want this to be less sci-fi I guess so it can just make sense!

Please let Desmond be on the submarine with Whidmore!! If he is, then I think Whidmore is going to be on team Jacob and help eliminate the darker elements on the island so Jack can protect it. It seems Whidmore has been all about protecting the island all along. And, before, Ben seemed to be a threat to the island because he was a threat to the Oceanic crew. If Whidmore comes in with Demond to save the day, THEN, maybe, the Oceanic 6 can live there happily and their LAX bizzarro-selves can live and die in peace.

Whoever made the Napolean Dynamite reference about Ben's dad - TOTALLY!

Ugh, I can't wait for next week.

Oh, and I have been re-watching from season 1 so I can go through and trace back any hints I might have missed.

There was a scene in the Pilot episode with Locke on the beach playing backgammon. Walt asks him to explain, and Locke holds up 2 pieces saying, "There's a light one and a dark one" (or piece or team he may have said).

Either way, we see a nice close up shot of Locke, holding up a white thing and a black thing, just like the rocks on the scales in the caves and just like the rocks that Adam & Eve had.

This really makes me wonder if the writers had this planned specifically all along.

Or, were they working along and think, "Ooh! Remember those scenes from season 1? Let's bring those back in. Locke was the ones who held the light and dark things in season 1, so let's use him as smokey."

It may be a little of both, but either way, I have got to give them credit.